It’s been a long time since I’ve posted.
A really long time.
I think mostly because I was so unhappy. And really, who wants to write over and over again about how much they dislike their life in spite of all the wonderful things and people in it. I didn’t want a record of this ongoing saga of being miserable and stuck yet doing nothing to change my situation. And honestly, I couldn’t change it. I was unhappy with the fundamentals, and until those could change, I knew I wouldn’t be happy. Really happy. Deep down happy.
And then it happened- change, that is.
And here I am today, atop a roof on a crystal clear day, sitting on the lap and cuddling up to the person that loves to hold me, with the Golden Gate Bridge casting it’s shining image in the background.
How much things have changed, I thought.
My eyes may have welled a bit.
It all happened on a whim. Sometimes the things you want are so much closer than you think.
Three weeks after the oh-maybe… moment, I was living in the city that I had been longing after for for three years.
And honestly, it couldn’t have happened a second sooner. Things just fell into place.
Three months ago, I was sitting in my misery. Disappointed in myself, my lack of ambition and my cowardice to follow my dreams.
Today I’m here. In my own apartment. My apartment. Living with three awesome people that I didn’t even knew existed three months ago. Spending time with friends I haven’t been able to see on a consistent basis in years. Making new friends and fitting in like.a.glove.
Here I am in my first relationship in four years. Why invest in something if I don’t plan on staying? That was my internal monologue of the last few years. But I’m here for the long run, and he’s in it with me. He’s told me so.
And who could ask for more than any of that? Sure I miss the things about LA that I really do love. Most of all I wish that some people weren’t so far away. But I know, at the same time, they will remain constants in my life regardless of distance, life stages etc.
And now I’m following my heart.
I did it!
And that is so fulfilling.
